Auctioning Pillows

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

"I've finally found my calling..."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Invisible clothes

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"It's called 'Sold'."

"I got it from eBay."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

The Battle of the Pictures.

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Titanic iceberg auction

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

'It sold for how much!'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'That's a decent offer but if I wanted to sell my soul, I would put it up for bids.'