Auctioneer Mugs

"The bidding will start at eleven million dollars."

At home with Harry, the Auctioneer. 'A penny for your thoughts.' 'Who'll give me five - do I hear five?'

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

It was too late to retract her bid. Catherine had purchased the small man on the motorbike'

Butterfly Auction

As she left the mall, Audrey found a way to rake in some cash.

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

At home with Harry, the Auctioneer: 'Penny for your thoughts.' 'Who'll give me five-do I hear five...?'

David Dickinson

Auctioneer's sign, 'Going, going, gone to lunch'.

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

"It's one of those pieces you pay $142.4 million for at auction and then never look at again."

'Sold!...to the man at the back...with the twitch.'

'But it must be valuable, it's got 'Made in China' stamped on the bottom!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

'Next, lot 234; an extremely rare estate agents

Bob auctions off his thoughts.

"All right, who'll start things off with a bid on this magnificent one-of-a-kind fifty-pound rock?"

Classic Car Auction: "I think I'm having an out-of -money experience."

"Now, what am I bid for this beautiful piece, which comes with the original owner?"

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

Antiques expect to War Criminal - "Er, has it been in the family long?"

"The bidding will begin at twenty million dollars."

'You look like an honest man - but perhaps we can still use you.'

"Go. Do my bidding."

Hyperbole!

"I got it from eBay."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

'Seven hundred and fifty thousand. Any advance on seven hundred and fifty thousand?'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

Sotheby's Happy Hour

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."