Attention Ninja Pillows

'Please listen carefully - especially if you have a short attention span...'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

Piano Keyboard

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

The Communicator

'Quick, Ted, get that one down on paper before you forget it.'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'Note to self: Buy little recorder.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

Flute-a-licious.

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

Workaholic's Toilet

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

'Just for the minutes did anyone manage to catch the chairman's parting words?'