Attending Grad School Gifts

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

I love Lawyers

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Truth

I need to set upmy own company.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Planet of the Lawyers

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Best System in the World

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."