Attending A Shareholder Meeting Pillows

"We must be going in the right direction... I can hear baying for blood"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Bo're'droom

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'