Attending A Celebrity Wedding Pillows

'George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon!...That's not a wedding party that's a heist!'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'I always cry at weddings!'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Bryan Ferry

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

Tom Hanks

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

Harriet Walter

"Just one more round guys...then I've got to get back to the church!"

Leo McKern

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

Michael Caine

Meryl Streep

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

Tom Cruise

David Bowie

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

Viggo Mortensen

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

'Hey! is that a good fit or not?'

Emma Watson

Daniel Day Lewis

'Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?'

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking