Attendance Advocate T-Shirts

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

Staff Yearbook

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"It's running five minutes fast."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

Gold versus Knowledge

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

Good writing is good thinking

Piorities in Minnesota.

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

'Kids, you can all do it! Latest scientific research shows that you're smarter than previously believed.'

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'Education is very important. Let's go buy three liters of books so we can learn!'

Global Education