Attempting Sobriety Pillows

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

Sober Tooth Tiger

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"Here y'are mate - have a drink on me. . !"

"About time!"

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

"But, can you help me quit smoking?"

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, my AA sponsor walks into mine."

Drink kills.

'I'm on the wagon.'

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

'Do you find it easy not to think about alcohol?'

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

'Solar! I thought you said we were going completely SOBER!'

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

'Alchohol alone is responsible for your problems.'

Elf on the Wagon

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

"How's your dry January going?"

Drying out Clinic - Sorry, alcoholics only!

'I get no kick from Champagne, mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all...' 'God, reformed alcoholics are so damned smug!'

"Okay. We're all here because we've relapsed..."

"I wish I'd never started Dry January."

"It stops him from wandering towards the wines and spirits aisles."

Lady about 'One Date at a Time' Bumpersticker: 'He's trying to stay sober, but he's still a lady's man.'