Atomic Theory Gifts

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'Let's see, Schneebart — you'd better work on weak nuclear reactions.'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Math Dreams

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

Sigmund Freud.

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

Schrödinger and his cat

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

"Mine's bigger than yours."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

Newton's Law and Order.

'He was working on a theory of entropy, and developed a severe case of it himself.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

Albert Einstein

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

"I'm catching up on my inertia."