Atheist Adventurer Pillows

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"Needs to get a life"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

You had me at vintage.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Halo Frisbee.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Shoot For The Moon

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

2pm meet your Creator

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.