Asthma Pillows

Vlad the Inhaler

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Toadstools

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Cut Price

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Bad for you but to die for

'She's so put together!'