Asthma Awareness Advocate Pillows

"It's not so much riding off into the sunset as it is heading west till my asthma improves."

Vlad the Inhaler

National Asthma Society Parade

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Bubbling

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"Then, my arthritis..."

Sewer Rats

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

Opium Den 2019

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."

Prostate Issues

Oven Ready: May Contain Traces of Unicorn

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.