Assembly Line Technician Gifts

Marvin Shlepmuffin - the guy who pre-programs your fire alarm battery to fail at 2:30 in the morning every time...

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Motivation to work

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"I'm having a party at my home, and you're all invited. Bob, you'll serve drinks. Anne, you serve the food. Ted, you'll park the car..."

Time Clock

"Nap time."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

Line Manager

America's Biggest Export...

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

Take Harris up in the company helicopter and throw him out.

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Oh...that's not good."

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'

'I'm here to help, you can tell me anything in complete confidence Jane, Jill...whatever your name is!'

"I'm your problem."

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

"How deep are those pockets?"

"Of course he looks superior - he's the line manager!"

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."