Assembly Challenger Gifts

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'Because of the mess, 'Mr. Potato Salad-Head' never took off.'

Mental Health System Breakdown

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'I've got it written down...'

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

Capitalism

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

Police Shootings: Searching for justice

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

"As board members, we need to speak with one voice, I'm suggesting Donald Duck."

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

Know Know

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"Thanks, I'll write that down."

'You're under arrest for disturbing the peace.'

Fred N. Smith: Bureaucrat, Public Servant, Whistle-Blower.

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

Suicide Is a Rude Way to Interfere With Society Murdering You

'How come you keep forgetting when it's your round?'