Assassinations Pillows

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Can You Spot the Differences?

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Holiday time.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Super Dog'

Mixed Doubles.

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

The Elliot Ness monster.

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'How about a game of cards?'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

Funky Facts: Football.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Alternative fielding positions

"Marco ..."

Check your universal remote control at the door.