Aspiring Orator T-Shirts

"This is what I learned during my summer at TED camp."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

Presenter Auditions.

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

William Pitt the Elder

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

A girl climbs a ladder of books

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Tough group."

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

"You got 136? It says here you're genius if you get a 132."

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

"Do you have any advice for me? I'm writing a children's book."

Well spoken man.

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

"When can we start calling each other names like they did in the political debates."

Soap Box

J. Dudley - Statesman, orator, philanthropist, big deficit spender.

' Pol Meeting'

"Now tell me more about your fear of speaking in front of an audience."

"I'm speaking with you this evening without the benefit of speech-writers or teleprompters. Thank you and good night."

'Unaccustomed as I am, to public speaking...'

"We are dropping your column. Many readers think you're just to extreme."

"...and now a few words from the class know-it-all."

There once was a clown from Nantucket … D'oh! I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe Thinking of clean limericks belongs in the advanced segment of Randy's Personal Growth System.