Aspiring Lobbyists T-Shirts

"The whole time I served in the US congress, I dreamed of exactly this: being a wealthy lobbyist sitting here with you."

"Good boy."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

Oligarchy

Political convention

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Gun laws US

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"If we gave them press freedom they'd only want democracy too..."

COP26

We have a dream....

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

"Do you take dark money?"

Automatic Congressman

Distraction.

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."

"With great power comes great reward."

"So from now on, the rabbi, the priest and the minister all walk into a pharmacy, O.K.?"