Aspiring Broadcasters Gifts

'The best way to start in broadcasting is to learn how to work the booth.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Presenter Auditions.

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'Our guest today is. . . er. . . a Corporation. . .'

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

'How do you know he wants to go to college? Maybe he wants to be a sportscaster.'

"I don't even know when late night begins anymore."

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

'Now, for the world from the street, we go to out embedded reporter...'

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

'I'm running into lots of trouble with my ambition to be a shock jock.'

"This Just In."

'Yes, we're having another fund raiser but, please don't give! Who cares if honest intelligent radio goes silent forever?'

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

Sports update: Some teams won and some teams lost.

'And for those of you with weird brains, here is the financial news...'

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."