Artistic Performance Mugs

Brava

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Guitarist

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"Extreme miming"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Comedy Cafe

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Stand-up Romcom

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

Taking a peek at the audience

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Modern Major General

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Piano Recital