Artistic Humor Fan Gifts

Georges Seurat

'It would help if you took this portrait seriously, Your Majesty.'

'It's all right, dear - He has artistic license.'

"It's just a hydrant tattoo. Don't even think about it."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

The bird feeder.

"Fish finder."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"