Artistic Egotist T-Shirts

Another Big-Headed Cartoonist

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Lord Byron

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

High School Schedule

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

"You think I would have sunk forty thousand clams into this lemon if I had known they were coming out with a nine-dollar boner pill?"

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

Pierre was full of himself.

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"Now who's being judgy?"

Steam of Consciousness

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

'This looks like a bad case of Humorous interruptus... commonly known as cartoonist's block.'

"The dove must be back."

Art Guidelines

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"She was an excellent model, but her mother simply couldn't learn to trust me."

Magritte realising he's going bald.

"This doesn't leave much room for creativity."

Artist having painted a featureless landscape.

'To be frank Benjie, I don't think you've ever really recaptured the edgy brutality of your early potato-man period.'

Benjamin Britten.