Artisanal Shopping Enthusiast Pillows

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Lovely dovetail."

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

Cheesemaker

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

Indian hollowing out log for a canoe sees woodpecker pecking his log

"Your father and I were hoping for something a little less artisanal."

"I spent twelve years making this. Where's MY award?"

"The innocence seems forced."

Artisanal Everything, Inc,

William Morris

'Do you have any Cheese and Pickle?

"I can remember when all we needed was someone who could carve and someone who could sew."

"I can’t bear the self-satisfied unless I’m self-medicated."

"I only drink Arts and Crafts beer."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

Landfill Trends through the ages.

"Can't beat that super glue for sticking power, huh?"

Now at the Farmers' Market

The Corner Shop.

Gentrification of the fridge

"I had to make the heart blue because I used up all my red crayons at Christmas time."

"Yeah, I paid $29 for mouthwash -- it's a small batch mouthwash."

Adam & Eve doing their groceries.

"It was your job to make a grocery list and the only thing you have written down is 'Milk'???"

A blacksmith shaping a horse shoe on an anvil.

En Pointe.

I can't find the artisanal Pop-Tarts.

Made in England

'Well, tests show that you have had a small heart attack - what one might call a boutique heart attack.'

'Free Coffee' and 'Hand Crafted Mugs, $15.'