Artisan Explorer Pillows

"It's not even artisanal."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'I'm in my Blue period.'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

Face painting by numbers.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I could do that.'

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Kid doing cave paintings

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

USA Hangs the Dove of Peace

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Sorry, I've said all I can say in this medium.

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

Man Lifting Heavy Block

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

Luthier

Odd Mortarboards.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Maria Sibylla Merian

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Farmer's Market.

Mammoth Posing