Arthurian Tale Admirer Gifts

'Sir Galahad returns'

'Good God! What's that? I wish Merlin would stick to the occasional dragon manifestation and free eggs for the peasants.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

Swiss army knife

Neptune

"The knights of the round accent table"

Knights of the bedside table.

'I'd like a round table!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Knights of the Square Table.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

Knights of the Round Whatever

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Don Quixote knocking over a propeller.

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

P.C. in the Stone

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Illustration for 'A Legend of Camelot', scene 2.

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Museum of Legend. 6th Century. King Arthur. I wonder which one of King Arthur's knights invented the round table? Sir Cumference.

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

Lady of the Remote

Camelot Arms Fair