Arthurian Devotee Gifts

Sword

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

"The knights of the round accent table"

Swiss army knife

Knights of the bedside table.

'I'd like a round table!'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Knights of the Square Table.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

Pizza at the Round Table

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

Knights of the Round Whatever

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

Illustration for 'A Legend of Camelot', scene 2.

Lady of the Remote

"What a midfield wizard!"

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Museum of Legend. 6th Century. King Arthur. I wonder which one of King Arthur's knights invented the round table? Sir Cumference.

Camelot Arms Fair

Lady of the Lake/Sharks

The Lady Of The Leek.

'Forget about the Holy Grail for now - I want you to look for weapons of mass destruction.'

"I thought this would be easier than a drawn-out political campaign."