Arthurian Buff Pillows

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

Swiss army knife

Knights of the bedside table.

Get on with it!

If the Brontë sisters wrote science fiction

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Knights of the Square Table.

Verbal Orders

Knights of the Round Whatever

Pizza at the Round Table

Charles Dickens

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

Kit makes an appointment

Planner at work.

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"What a midfield wizard!"

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Illustration for 'A Legend of Camelot', scene 2.

"It's true, Caesar. Rome is declining, but I expect it to pick up in the next quarter."

Sir Cowalot.

Really big bang