Artful Debater T-Shirts

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'Do you think that's wise?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"It's PENCILvania!!!"

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

Prisoner speech

Children Demand Parental Term Limits.

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

Evangelical Political Influence

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"Curses! You have thwarted my science-based argument by quoting scripture! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"I don't know much about art, but I do know s**t when I see it."

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

"All in favor of ending the heartache and the thousand natural shocks this firm is heir to, say aye."

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is The Children v. Mommy. The Supreme Court, Juvenile Division.

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

'That was a long winded conversation...I thought he'd never stop listening.'

'Sure she's got a nice smile, but is it art?'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

"Ay caramba amigo, graffiti paradise!!"

"Why not use thoughts and prayers to stop abortions? That's what you've been using to stop school shootings."

'Genius?! Pah! A five-year-old could paint this.' 'Perhaps... But a five-year-old couldn't convince anyone it was great art. Therein lies the genius.'

"Oh, yeah! Well my dad says St. Joe is too the patron saint of coffee!"

'You must assert yourself more.'