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'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

The Artist

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"You're welcome."

'Projectile painting.'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

It's a call from Tate modern.

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"You're my Mona Lisa."