Art-loving Uncle Gifts

"Museum directory: Male statues with big d**ks. Female statues with huge tits & fat butts."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'Projectile painting.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"It's Chicken Mole!"

Dog traps the postman.

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

Who are you?

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

Warhol Exhibit

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

Pianist.

A window is the popular exhibit at an art gallery.

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

Mobile Phones

'A...B...C...D...E...' - Graffiti on classroom wall.

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

A masterpiece was stolen from this space.

"Wow! You mean they got all of this in exchange for just one van Gogh?"

"Russia's always bigger than you think."

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"I know it's only a thumbnail sketch, but I quite like it!"

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

'I realize it's not much of a war, but it's all we can afford right now.'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"The innocence seems forced."

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals