Art House Theater T-Shirts

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Candle Portraits.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Creation of Red Wine

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

Now Playing at the Europlex

'Mom says finger painting was digital art before computers.'

'I think it's the best thing you've ever done!'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

'That reminds me, what wine are you serving this evening?'

Artist in Residence

"Hoping to find a Picasso at a garage sale isn't a solid retirement plan."

"You said you wanted me to read more, so tonight we're watching one of those movies with subtitles."

'The mARTyr'

A World War II army barracks with personal effects and a Picasso painting on the wall.

'Oh no! It's the man from The Enlightenment!'

Profession : Cartoonist

"I would work if I could but it interferes with my thinking!"

"Please direct your attention to the monitors for a very important contribution to airline-safety cinema."

Ingmar Bergman's Ill-Fated Encounter with Hollywood.

'Wow! That's probably the best Kyrgyzstani neo-realist horror-comedy crossover I've seen so far this year.'

'The Stalls, Covent Garden Opera'

'I can't believe it — you rented a foreign film?'

'I knew you were worried about taking your baby to the drive in, but security guards?'

"Should we watch the movie whose title we can't remember or the one whose title we can't pronounce?"

'Maybe it needs a little curb appeal.'

'The impressionists always bring a tear to my eye.' - 'I hate them too.'

Rialto: a brief respite between the summer deluge of bottom-feeder crap and the winter deluge of upscale crap

An audience with the king.

Film snob.

"Mom got the house."