Art House Aficionado Gifts

Rialto: a brief respite between the summer deluge of bottom-feeder crap and the winter deluge of upscale crap

'I can't believe it — you rented a foreign film?'

You're my Mona Lisa.

Larry's used art

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Paul Klee

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Alien David statue

Cariactures

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

That shows business confidence.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

The height of fashion in 1796

(Camel paintings)

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast

"Mr. Right!"

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Well....I could've done this!"

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Horti-Culture

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Distractions Of The Great

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'