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'He got a grant on the condition that he stop painting for a year.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Paul Klee

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

(Camel paintings)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Mr. Right!"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Distractions Of The Great

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Horti-Culture

Baroque Peacock

Spring Training

Painting taking root...

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Misunderstood artist

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'