Art Department Staff T-Shirts

'And contact the art department - find out when the rest of my desk will be ready.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Dolores is so avant garde.

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

'Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

What Does God Know?

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Art Plagiarism

Closed for Renovation

"He's left out the staples"

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

In the art gallery

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

The hall of bad ideas.

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.