Art Critic Aficionado Pillows

"Pfft. Derivative."

'To be frank Benjie, I don't think you've ever really recaptured the edgy brutality of your early potato-man period.'

"You've captured his intellectual prowess, overbearing demeanor and aura of invincibility, but unfortunately it looks nothing like him."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

(Camel paintings)

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

German Expressionist Breakfast

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Horti-Culture

Distractions Of The Great

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Mr. Right!"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Baroque Peacock

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.