Armed Forces Trainer Pillows

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Quick, start the car!"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

"Any questions?"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Hanging off every word...

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Quality Control

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."