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'Really, Frank... The late news is so depressing - and it's the same thing every night... Why do you even turn it on?'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Raheem Sterling

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Driverless cars rage.

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"