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A cock up of builders

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

Jake wonders if the manufacturer went a little too far with its new earth mover product line.

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

' NO...NO..Mabel...BUNS!...Hot cross BUNS!'

"Oh, sorry. Wrong workshop."

Mr. & Mrs. Putty get dream home.

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

'The readings look good, but just in case, when was the last time the system was checked for bugs?'

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"On your marks! Get set!. . ."

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

Church of St. Mary the Contrary.

"Hi everyone, and welcome to this TED talk on how not to run a business. . ."

'Gesundheit, dummy!'

IRS: 'I haven't filed because my computer's been down since 2007!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate' A guest is refused entry to the Softy-Wype toilet tissue masked ball.

Hunting man hits his host

Clancy: Never Making the Same Mistake Twice

'Hi, Mr. Back... you asked me to call you...'

'You have entered the wrong password. Please hold while we transfer you to klutz support.'

'How's my brother? No change, I'm afraid - he's still dead...'

"Hi, there. I'm Dick. Are you seeing anyone?"

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."

'Do you think maybe it's not a good idea to wear a red plaid sports coat to a funeral?' 'It is if it's the only sports coat you've got left that fits. I'll just try to look extra somber.'

"...I said regular sand, not QUICKSAND!"

"Oops...wrong meeting..."

Convenience Store Entrance is Inconvenient.

"Has that been there since lunchtime?"