Arachnid Admirers T-Shirts

A guide to eight-legged animals.

"Congratulations! You passed your eye exam with perfect 20/20/20/20/20/20/20/20 vision!"

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Turtle Trailer Court

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

Cat has birds on whiskers,

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

What your house plant says about you...

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

"I've been at loose ends lately."

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Of course he does - all snakes have great abs!'

Chameleon and TV

"I've downsized."

Spider Press-Ups

Blatant competition in nature.

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'I hibernate in a small crevice near the hot springs that stays warm all winter.'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Chameleon 'Hide and Seek'...

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'