Applicant Pillows

What do you think of the application so far?

Bureaucratic Position Interview

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'A rise certainly, you have to apply in person to our headoffice in New Zealand.'

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"Start Monday...I like the cut of your jib, young man"

'I'm sorry, Mr.Nesbitt - but there's no accounting for taste.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

I'm a self-made man!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'These are job perks.'

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."