Apple Balancer Enthusiasts T-Shirts

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Tree Passion

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Information Tightrope.

The hour of justice

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

DIY Shelves

Newton's more mundane brother - "That reminds me I must get some apples."

"Gerald Beeman? Eighteen years ago you were driving through Connecticut and threw an apple out the window. That apple landed in a field alongside I-95 and . . . well . . . I think I'm your son."

'He has a learning disorder.'

An apple a day.

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!

Playing With Peace

Waiting staff

Workaholics Anonymous

Newton regretted dabbling in genetic modification.

"Do you have these apples in green?"

Final Exams Today

Tightrope Walker Over-Balances.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Doctor scared by apples,

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

Doctor says: 'I must say, I'm surprised to see you here' to Magritte character with apple in face

"If Carlo can't maintain a better on-line profile, he'll just have to go..."

'Okay if I keep the core? I want to plant the seeds.'

'Waiting for...'