Appearance Detective T-Shirts

"I've maximized the ability to notice even the tinniest change in a lady's appearance."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Art Plagiarism

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"It's a setup."

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

Hipster Police Department

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

"See...polystyrene!"

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"President Whipple couldn't make it."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Federal witness protection agency.