App Inventor Pillows

"Quick! I need an app that erases my office behavior history."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'Is this the new input device?'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"You've all been working very hard lately, and you deserve some time off. I'm giving you all a two-day membership to time-off.com."

God's Phone

Cloud Computing.

"It's a 'pencil' - It's like a pen, except that it's made of wood!"

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

The power of the brain

I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say "feed me," "walk me," "I need to potty," or "leave me alone," or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout "I'm running!" when the dog is running.

My First Bitcoin.

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."