Apartment Life Satirist T-Shirts

"It's the co-op board!"

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Hoodie Hang-out

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Snowman Driver

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

This is where Brent council sends you

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

'Elaine, no interruptions for the next ten seconds please.'

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

A cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. Or a weak arm.

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Working from home again, Jerry?"

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

Ace Doughnut Co.

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.