Apartment Hunting Pillows

"Location, location, location."

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

"Is it me, or as the rent goes up, does the apartment actually shrink a little?"

"It's just a ten-minute walk to much nicer apartments."

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'I'm looking for an apartment near an ATM. I always run out of money by week's end.'

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

Rental Agency. Yes, I want a single apartment. If I wanted to live with someone, I'd live in a togetherment! (Published originally on Jan. 24, 1995.)

Rental Agency. Yes, I want a single apartment. If I wanted to live with someone, I'd live in a togetherment!

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'Oh, they're simply looking for newly available apartment openings.'

Sound Apartment

'The owner says you can stay free the first month if you can find his lost TV remote.'

"They've got everything...one even has its own shed."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Upper West Side Story

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Shakespeare Ave

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

'Honey, I'm home.'

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

"Yes, 650,- euro net rent is a pretty good price and it's a very nice house... By the way, I'm talkins about this house, sir."

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"