Apartment Appreciator T-Shirts

"Honey, I'm home."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

Upper West Side Story

'What if I promise not to look?'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"I like to stay on top of things."

'Honey, I'm home.'

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Great Urban Sprawl

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

A parcel of postmen

"Of course, it's hard to tell what a place really looks like without furniture."

'I believe this is one of the original sets'

Dad, can you give me my pocket money?"

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

'I had a house for that price, but it sold in 1962.'