Apartment Appreciator T-Shirts

"Honey, I'm home."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

Upper West Side Story

'Honey, I'm home.'

'What if I promise not to look?'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"I like to stay on top of things."

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Great Urban Sprawl

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

"Of course, it's hard to tell what a place really looks like without furniture."

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

Dad, can you give me my pocket money?"

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

A parcel of postmen

'I believe this is one of the original sets'

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"