Anxious Urbanite T-Shirts

No Immediate Danger

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Worry tank

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

Demonic Repossession.

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Agoraphobic Explorer

"They're from accounting, sir, they're not very verbal."

"Is it okay that I said yes to that costume party?"

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

I'm hungry...I'm homeless...I'm dead.

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

'Elm and Oak? The streets were named after trees that were here before the developers cut them down.'

Fred prays that he remembered to put on clean underwear that morning.

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

Idlewild.

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

Person is hiding behind book entitled 'Coping with shyness'.

'I gotta knock 'em all down, but don't worry, we're going to name all the streets after trees.'

Building an inferiority complex - debate over land use.

'Entering Krentville -Dystopia of the northeast'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

Turn off the tv! Blasphemy. I have Extreme Partisanship Syndrome. I can't hear about politics. I get too riled up. It could kill me. No more Fox, or MSNBC, or even the networks. Fine, but there are other options. Can't this kill me too? Just the mind. Tonight on Biggest Loser: Jog eating.

"Are there any careers where I won't get replaced by an app?"

Fear of frying.

Someone is always trying to force me to have more fun in my life phobia: 'Can you recommend someplace where nothing is expected of us? Wilbur can't stand pleasure of any sort.'