Antic Collector T-Shirts

"Look what we found yesterday when we were cleaning out the attic."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Southwark Fair.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

The First Printed Bible

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

At last, Clarence thought, the long-awaited return to the old economy had begun.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Over-reaction Man.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."