Anti-telemarketer Warrior Pillows

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

Meet the People of the Internet

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Even though I'm a robot with robot with no emotions, all these telemarketing calls I'm getting is starting to get on my nerves."

"It's a robocall, should I take it?"

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

Vending machine says: 'No telemarketers will call' 50c.

"I only wish this was the final notice."

"Car insurance?? - No thanks!"

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

Medical whistle blowers.

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

The eMailman's Creed

'If you wish to complain please press 2 and then select the Death Metal band that you'd like to listen to while you are on hold.'

"To be honest I thought Hades would be Hellfire, Brimstone and eternal suffering....but this is way worse!!"

"Hi this is Mario...is this Sergio Bermudez? Are you interested in buying..."

'Grandma takes our telemarketer calls.'

Medicare fraud in Miami

Please continue to hold. Your call is important to us. But your time isn't.

"Yes, I keep a landline. Getting up 50 times a day to answer telemarketers keeps me in shape."

"Just sitting here waiting for Facebook to go away."

"Must resist...phone allure...of bilingual telemarketers!"

"Yes, I'd like to be placed on the Do Not Call list. Also, happy birthday Mom."

"I think you'll want to talk to this telemarketer. He's selling a phone device that prevents other telemarketers from calling."

"I'm not trying to sell you anything, sir. I'm doing market research, and all I ask is two or three hours of your time to answer a few thousand questions."

I'm sorry, but my do-not-call list includes telemarketers, political organizations, charities and men named Fusco.

'If it isn't double glazing it's a ruddy call centre from India!'

''You still haven't claimed for the accident you had.' Ha ha, what #@~## accident!!'