Anti-social Media Enthusiast Pillows

Unsocial Media

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

#notblessed

Facelook

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Like Facebook, I have also changed our company name so that it will be more clear and transparent to our customers who we are and what we do."

We need references other than your 336 Facebook friends.

You can have your privacy back, as soon as I've finished showing it to everyone

'I see that you have two sisters and like the beatles, I predict that you will graduate in 2012,,,'

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

But It's So Easy

Nice Apology, Mark

Fake News

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

Curious George, Dad