Anti-shoveling Advocate Pillows

'I'm done with it, Kate...We're close enough to spring that I'll just wait for it to melt...'

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Snowman Driver

Entering Washington, DC. Today's Polticial Atmosphere is TOXIC.

"We've made a few changes."

A Tree Fights Back

Wanted, someone to kill hunter. A volunteer is often the last one you'd ever want to give the job to.

'El Nino now.'

'We must be nearer a land-fill site than I thought.'

'Let him hit you.'

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

At Least You Can Look Forward to the Big Explosion

"Smack, nibble... look at all this garbage! People like to go for a walk in nature but the fill it with trash. They have no manners at all..."

Human Cull: People who don't care where their cigarette butts end up.

No carbon emissions were realised in the production of my bonus and perks.

'Whew! Done! ... oh for crying out loud! You gotta be kidding me!'

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

Forest Fire Hazard

Cruel sports - foxhunting

'Look, there go the windfarm protestors.' (Crowd of protestors being blown away)

'Come in, my dear . . .omigosh, is that riding hood trimmed in wolf fur?'

'Now there's a movement I could get behind.'

Snow Shark

'Honk if you detest the alternative minimum tax.'

'Wow! How'd that Moses kid shovel our driveway so fast?'

'What could possibly go wrong with the Keystone Pipeline? And don't worry about those non-fracking related earthquakes.'

Boris the Miner

"My long-distance test results are back. The good news is that my eyes are fine: the bad news is that my vision issues are due to air pollution..."

John McCain's Hair of the Dog Strategy

"Always have food with your wine. Want half a sandwich?"

'Black Peat's in town!'

'You can't do that in here. No one wants to breathe your second-hand smoke.'